Reflections
by Eruaistaniel
Summary: Song fic. Fanny's thoughts after Mr. Bertram decides to send her back home.


**Reflection**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Jane Austen's characters. The lyrics for ****_Reflection_**** are form Mulan, but I chose the version sung by ****_Jackie_****_Evancho_****.**

**Note: I like all three versions of Mansfield Park, but this is for the 1999 version starring Johnny Lee Miller (My favorite Edmund Bertram and Mr. George Knightly!), and Frances O'Connor. By the way I detest Fanny/Henry pairings. Ephase cation follows a verse, except for the Befor section comes bothe a verse.**

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**Reflection**

Fanny Price walked quietly out of the family room and headed to her room to pack. Her, Uncle Mr. Bertram, had just declared she would be sent back to her family, so she can think again about her answer, upon refusing Mr. Henry Crawford's proposal.

Arriving in her room she sat on her bed and started to sob. She disliked how she is treated at Mansfield Park. Almost everyone looks down on her. All excepts Edmund. Maria and Julia, thinks about nothing but themselves. Tom is often away gambling and loosing. Mrs. Bertram sees her as her 'right hand' when she is awake, or not on her opium. Mr. Bertram was a stern man. And most of all she dislikes Mrs. Norris! She would be a far more pleasant relation if she were not putting Fanny down all the time. The worst was when she made an excuse to get her out of the billiards room, when Mr. Crawford asked for her opinion.

But Edmund, her Edmund for that is how she has thought about him for years now. Her Edmund treats her as his equal. He is the one who takes the time to be with her and do things with her. For it is his character that she gradually fell in love with. Yes, he does have good looks, but his character is so much kinder than the other Bertrams. Fanny often wondered if he ever new about her feelings. Probably not for she hides those feelings behind a mask of friendship. She can hide love behind a mask of friendship in front of others, but she can't hide love from her heart.

Getting up she looked at herself in the mirror. Fanny will admit she will never be as beautiful as Maria or Julia. But right now she feels like she does not know the woman who stares back at her.

She is very grateful to the Bertrams for taking her in, but she does not like the poor treatment she gets. In this 'world' of Mansfield Park, she has learned to hide her heart to not be hurt by the treatment of other who think she is inferior to them.

The only person who has a sliver of knowledge of her heart is Edmund. But, lately Mary Crawford's entrance into Mansfield Park, has made her more closed up around him. Some day she wished to show Edmund what she holds in her heart, and for him to love her for it.

Slowly Fanny started packing her things in a trunk, and a reticule Edmund had given her for a present on her sixteenth birthday. All her growing up years had been spent a lot in this room. It is her refuge. Not to mention, this is were Edmund and she would laugh and he would listen to her stories she wrote.

How long can she pretend to be just friends with Edmund she wondered. Stopping she made a promise to her heart. She would alway love Edmund even... even if he does marry 'her'. She shall be his friend for all time if she must.

Oh, but she does so long to tell him how she feels. But she is afraid he would see it as a family love. Not a love between man and woman, like what she feels.

Finishing she called a servant to take her trunks to the carriage for her. Taking one last sweep around the room full of memories of Edmund she closed the door and headed down to the carriage. She saw him standing by the carriage waiting to say his good-bye. She didn't want to be parted from him, but she wasn't wanted here any more, by the other family members. Except Edmund, who was disappointed by her leaving. She doesn't understand the need to conceal her feelings from him any more. Yes, she does, being with Mary Crawford makes him happy, and she will do what ever to see him happy. Even if it means giving up her happiness.

She stood there looking down at the ground and could feel his eyes on her. Looking up she saw his sad eyes. He would miss her, Fanny felt somewhat comforted by that thought. Gathering her courage she gave Edmund a hug. She would miss this, miss him, Edmund. Edmund helped her into the carriage and they watched each other until both lost sight of the other. Turning around Fanny looked forward towards her destination. She left the home of her youth with all but her heart, which was still in Mansfield Park in the hands of a man who didn't know about her love for him.

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**Please, please review!**

**God Bless!**


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